Nǐ báichī!
by Yunnora Lovespell
Summary: Seriously, did they have to make out right on top of her party board? Guess they forgot how good of a swing she's got. Fender & an angry Amy.


**Hey guys. Here's another thing. Hope you guys like :) Fender all the way baby!**

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Amy wasn't quite sure what to say. The scene before her had to be something out of a cheesy Syfy movie. You know, one of those old age films from the early 2000's when film makers abandoned that wreckage that was 2-D and started to grasp the concept of 3-D. Though 3-D was now the archaic form of dimensional viewing Amy Wong couldn't help but think back to that Dark Age in film making as she watched the scene she so regretfully walked in on unfold before her very eyes.

"Spleesh!" Amy threw her arm over her eyes, the urge to vomit threatening to dispel her lunch from earlier. "Can't you guys do that somewhere else?"

Seriously, did they have to make out right on top of her party board? Yeah, sure, the legs of the converted ironing board made for great support, but there was only so much weight it could handle. She and Kiff together hardly weighed anything on it but Bender's heavy metal ass would certainly break it. It didn't help that Fry was on it too. If those lazy good for nothings broke her party board- well, they knew how well she played golf; and with a club she never misses a swing. Ever.

Glaring at the two through dark an slanted eyes Amy leaned forward, crossing her arms over the tank top she had borrowed. Hopefully her mutant-Cyclops co-worker wouldn't notice Amy had taken it. She didn't exactly have all the time in the world to change when she woke up late that morning for work. Thankfully her pink sweat shirt had hidden it from sight but after working in the belly of the Planet Express ship for hours on end, steam pelting her heated skin, she was forced to take it off. It was about that time she wandered off the ship to grab a glass of water that she caught Bender and Fry going at it again.

The robot was caught beneath his human boyfriend, giggling through his mouth plate like an idiot. Fry had straddled his cylindrical torso, whispering into the side of Bender's head and into what she figured was the automaton's imaginary ears. She could hear the strains of the legs of her party board creak and she winced, grinding her teeth together in a bid not to blow right up on them. They were idiots after all. Poor, stupid, idiots as Leela had put it.

She sighed.

She couldn't very well blame Fry for all the affectionate crap he was now pouring on his new boy toy. When she had been dating Bender the two of them had gone at it like rabbits, making out on the office table and in a storm field of tornadoes. Fry was just having his fun and Amy could forgive that to an extent.

But NOT when they were snogging it up on her party board!

Fry looked up at the sound of her voice, the warm smile on his face melting into that signature look of stupid that he usually exuded. Bender looked over at well, his digital eyes narrowing in irritation from being interrupted.

"Oh hi Amy." Fry smiled.

"Ahem." Bender crossed his arms, tapping the end of his foot cup against the leg of Amy's party board. "I believe you are interrupting something important."

Amy scoffed. The nerve of that guy! "Oh really? Then you wouldn't mind sharing, would you?"

Bender grumbled under his breath and Amy took the win by smirking back at him.

"That's what I thought. Now get off my party board before you guys wreck it!"

Fry frowned, rising to get up. "Oh. Sorry Amy."

"Eh this thing was getting to stiff for me anyways." Bender added, plucking on the string that was Amy's nerves.

As Fry swung his leg over and hopped right off the legs of Amy's party board could no longer handle the stress and the leg beneath creaked even louder. With a gasp of horror Amy watched her beloved party board split at the ends, jagged lines racing to the middle where most of Bender's weight lay. She nearly screamed as the board finally gave out and Bender toppled onto the ruins of the once ironing board. What made it worse was the look of utter relaxation that came over the robot's face. He simply lay in the ugly splinters of wood and wax paint like he hadn't just ruined someone's property and shrugged.

"Well, it's comfy now but maybe it's too comfy."

Amy tugged on her hair, her eyes shut tight as she screamed. "Nǐ báichī!"

Fry suddenly yelped and ran from the room, Amy's hot and angry gaze following after him like a heat seeking torpedo. Bender sat up, catching Amy's steamy glare, and laughed rather nervously.

"Oh oops sorry Amy. Guess you'll need to get another one. But that won't be a problem since you're parents are rich and all that. Just send them a postcard and they'll wire you some money."

Amy snarled. Of all the idiotic things that robot had to say it just had to be that. Sure her parents were rich but she wasn't. They had cut her off just two months ago, accusing her of leeching off their 'hard earned money' and took back her rather impressive allowance for the month. Even if she were to work over time every single day for the next five years she wouldn't be able to make back the amount it would take to replace her beloved board.

Without uttering a single word she marched over to the couch where she had precariously left her club the day before, happy to see it hadn't been moved. She took it up with one hand, turning on the robot faster than he could say bender burgers and stalked right after him. She didn't have to say a word for the message to get across.

"Y-you wouldn't beat up on a defenseless robot now would ya?"

She tapped the neck of her club against her hand, smirking devilishly as bender started to back out of the remains of her precious board and into the wall.

"We'll just have to find out now, wont we?"

An hour later Amy was back to work, configuring the ship's engines and checking the calibration for any hiccups. Fry was on the couch with a Slurm in hand, the other resting over a moaning and groaning Bender that was sprawled over his lap. All over his body were club sized dents. Each swing of the pro golfer had hit its mark and then some, leaving poor loveable Bender to lick his wounds.

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**Brought to you by: **_Hypno-Toad_


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